Office Professionals On Harleys

Fek your average overweight 44 year-old on the toy he owes so much on

Fek your loud add-on mufflers but not those tired, fat bitches hanging out over the back and sides

To hell with your identical machines lined up in front of safe chain motels

Piss on your stupid radios blasting country music as you noisily blare by

A pox on your bullshit weekend lifestyle, go back to the office where you belong

And screw as well the canned biker dreams you think that you are following

May heavy rain, breakdowns and construction delays waste your lost biker weekends

Put your damn stock mufflers back on and take out your silly earplugs

More chrome does not really counter your increasing decline in virility

A new leather jacket won’t make her slim as you once thought she maybe was

You don’t have the nads to ride it to work cause the boss might disapprove

Even the fastest are dogshit slow and handle like spavined nags

Make your hefty monthly payment instead of adding to your 401k, you moron

Pathetically put a Harley decal on the window of your overweight pickup truck

Express your freedom and independence like everybody else, there you little rodent

Gather by the thousands and reinforce your pitiable implanted delusions

Show us your ignorant and false movie machismo by not wearing a helmet

Take rocks and large insects right into your smooth, round and pudgy face

Lock up your brakes in the first emergency since you never learned to ride

Find out about high-siding when that 800 lb baby rolls up and on top of you

Keep it safe in the garage and just take it out on weekends

Never even consider how it’s just a waste of the money that you don’t really have

Don’t learn how to service them, just go bend over and be nice for the dealer

Then take off so wild and free with your cellphone in your pocket

Fek your Harley and it’s illusory lifestyle accessories and canned fantasies

Keep it safe and clean next to your bullshit performance sedan

And after you scare the shit out of yourself the first or second time

It’ll just sit there getting dusty and you’ll say you don’t have the time to ride

And the kids will knock it over and even you will ding it with the car door

Anyway, you can still both wear your leathers when you ride that other hog