Our Leaders: Environmentalism Costs Money and Jobs

It was coal mine safety I remember they said so long ago

Which would maybe protect us just a little

But they would cost so much and take away so many jobs

to clean up the air and remove the lead from our gasoline

would be overly expensive and result in widespread unemployment

those who warn us of losing jobs and growing poor

are often those who gladly, in point of fact,

send our jobs away offshore, executing an old formula for more fat bonuses

Now they say they cannot afford to control emissions

on your favorite SUV

for clearly neither they nor we are responsible for atmospheric conditions

and requiring some sort of mileage standards

for their blimpy behemoths

is tantamount to a denial of our precious civil rights

we must let the coal-fired power plants exhaust mercury into our children’s brains

for upgrading them would provide but marginal benefit, just to a few

and would cost millions and throw many out of work

we must always remember the main point in this corporate-funded debate:

it is about jobs for the people and wood for deserving foreign consumers

not about some non-voting birds or non-interest bearing old-growth forests

let the market decide the fate of the cetaceans and the wandering albatross

bycatch regulation would make seafood more expensive and

rob the automated factory fishing fleet, portrayed in corporate publicityas the noble, independent fisherman, of its ancient livelihood

depriving the petro-chemical industry of the profits

derived from fertilizers and insecticides

under the flimsy guise of protecting farmlandmight make our factory bread more expensive and cost corporate farmers their lands

cleaning up the exhaust of those mighty diesel trucks

to possibly prevent unproven lung disease in our little children

would clearly be cost ineffective and steal more of those precious jobs

joining in the effort to reduce greenhouse emissions

could potentially damage our powerful, but sensitive, economy

and certainly would cost too much money and put many people out of work

forcing consumers to pay more for gasoline

to increase efficiency fix the roads and reduce our dependence on terrorist havens

would surely be quite expensive and bring about even more unemployment

the destruction of the panoramic beauty of the Grand Canyon

is a smaller price to pay than

the huge costs and potential job losses required to stop the massive nearbycoal-fired power plants from polluting once-pristine Western air

we must ease bureaucratic restrictions on mining, drilling and development

which are stifling entrepreneurship

thus enabling Big Oil to export our Energy Independence
and to provide employment for all our citizens who seek it

if we do not unlock petroleum resources in every corner of our great land,

following the mantra of accessibility and multiple use,

gasoline must grow ever more expensive and threaten our very way of life

making rules to curb urban and exurban sprawl created by outside investors

stifles free enterprise, denies local control and limits property rights

makes housing less affordable, thus curbing all of our opportunities for employment

permitting giant hog farms to foul our groundwater with their untreated wastes

keeps the price of pork quite low for the American consumer

and gives a few of the ex-small farmers steady jobs suffocating in the smelly mess

forcing developers to rebuild abandoned and outdated suburban shopping centers

is not nearly as cost-efficient compared to bulldozing formerly open space

and would surely raise rents for store owners and reduce their hiring rates

allowing citizens to cheaply purchase exported American drugs via Canada

could pose serious health risks and threaten the noble BigPharma research process

which could only make medications more expensive and send more jobs overseas

for at the end of another day of the greedy and self-serving

who anonymously risk their egos to grow rich in the corporate shadows

what better way to cow working consumers and government officials than

to threaten them with higher prices and the loss of their precious jobs