Grant us a blind, unyielding and merciless faith

Lord help us to ignore anything that contradicts our righteous visions

Grant us a blind, unyielding and merciless faith that we so seek in thee

Jesus give us time to fulfill our implanted dreams of hyper-consumption

Keep our leaders free from the constraints of reason, logic and good sense

God see that according to thy will we strike down the wicked infidel fanatics

Bring us peace as we lay waste to their sin-ridden cities and fields

Christ, let the priests explain away natural disasters and childhood deaths

Take away our fear and wonder and sustain us on a stale and moldy faith

Lord help the single, teenage mother to party on and be impregnated again

Grant us the ability to ignore how they must live - as we are driving by

Jesus give us the strength to carry all our extra fat way over to the couch

May we barter our reason for media babble taken with quantities of sweet or salty snacks

God see that we always demand bigger vehicles with more powerful engines

Bring the rich lower taxes, import cheap goods and export middle-class jobs

Christ let avaricious suckups and backbiting kick-downers keep masquerading as leaders

Take care of all those fathers who abandon their children without any support

Lord help the congressmen redistrict each and every voting region to their full advantage

Grant us the wisdom to cut the old growth timber and to drain unproductive wetlands

Jesus give us the petroleum for our humvees, jets and black helicopters

May thy name be upon our lips as our swinish lifestyles overtake us at last

God see that we continue never to look back with any regrets or apologies

Bring us thy thick-necked police bullies who are merely enforcing the law

Christ may the doctor work swiftly that he does not miss his tee time

Take back any guilt, remorse or shame we might accidentally feel

Lord help the children to understand and accept their reduced lots in life

Grant us new drugs that we might eat like pigs but still remain quite thin

Jesus lend us your strength to bludgeon the infidels with thy heavy holy cross

May we always have a terrible bogeyman with which to frighten our people

God see that sexual predators work in the nursing homes where we dump our Mothers

Bring us taxable vices for the masses and clever loopholes for the rich

Christ let entrepreneurs in need be able to grease the proper official’s sweaty palms

Take away our worries and fears that we may serve thee with blind faith, free of doubt

Lord help the suicide bombers to detonate near many unwary civilians

Grant the greedy African dictators more aid to siphon off to themselves and their cronies

Jesus give them the docility never to question our virtuous leaders

May the multinationals come to control all commerce and chart out every lifestyle

God see that violent criminals perfect their heinous crafts and addictions in our prisons

Bring us blindness as to where our water comes from and our garbage goes

Christ give unmarried great grand-daughters of single mothers their own bastard children

Take away our foolish worries over environmentally-induced diseases